Exploring Community and Connection

I feel that I’ve always underestimated the value of communities. Be it guilds in an online game, or a circle of friends, it’s never really been a large part of my life until recently. The result for me was a tendency to focus on self reliance. Always looking to be some form of omnicrafter in games. Focusing largely on solo content to the extent possible. Refusing to ask for help because doing so places a burden on others.

It took a long time to learn that it doesn’t have to be that way. My best friend played a large part, as did a lot of time interacting with others online. Seeing the various ways where my own involvement or interaction with others has helped them in some way. At some point I just realized how extraordinarily isolated I had made myself and began actively looking for friends and communities, mostly of the local variety.

It was actually quite an issue, because it required me to do something I hadn’t done in forever. Intentionally go out to a public event and interact with random strangers. Something I didn’t really feel effective or comfortable doing to begin with. It was out of character enough that when I actually did it my best friend asked who I was and what I’d done with his sister.

On the whole it’s been a really positive experience, if a bit awkward and outside my comfort zone. It’s difficult to describe how it’s different, though. It’s not as though I’ve never had friends or been part of a guild/community. Something about it being a more proactive intentional choice rather than pure chance seems to lend a different quality. I know how to interact, but I’m used to feeling associated with people rather than feeling connected to them, if that makes sense. It feels weird.

Alternatively, it could just be the hormone medication I’m taking now mucking about with my brain chemistry. There’s been so many things happening over the last few months that it’s hard to tell where one ends, another begins, or how causality is playing out. Ironically the decline in the time I spend gaming is tied up in all of it as well. Whether as a cause, a result, or both I haven’t quite decided yet.

Still, it’s a good change, near as I can tell.

Y’all take care. Hopefully that all makes some kind of sense.


Hey, it’s Blaugust time! The goal is to simply promote and stimulate the blogging community by encouraging people of all skill levels and backgrounds to post. The official post can be found here and it’s never too late to start.

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