Honesty and Selling Yourself

See, the thing that inherently bothers me with the idea of “selling myself” is that it feels dishonest. I’m telling the truth in a way that’s intentionally misleading. In a way it feels worse because an outright lie is at least honest about what it is.

Now, I know there are options that are less, well, offensive. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses and it’s generally expected that you’ll play the strengths a little harder and mitigate and play down the weaknesses. The specific thing that seems to be bothering me is actively working to show no weakness at all. It implies, in a way, that you’re not honest with yourself, I guess?

Admittedly I’m quite angry at the time of writing this. I especially despise these behaviors when undertaken by large corporations. There’s a company nearby that had an “important to them” guest coming. They pushed a whole lot of people to really clean up all kinds of things they normally don’t bother with. I understand appearances are important but at what point does it become dishonest? It looks like Enron but with housekeeping instead of accounting.

It probably doesn’t help that I’ve been considering re-entering the job market and I feel it has many of these problems. I know my strengths and weaknesses and I’m comfortable talking about them. I would probably be looking in the tech industry though, and I haven’t technically ever worked in it, despite have a degree and cert from a community college that’s 15 years old. I still do some coding and stuff from time to time, a lot of it business related. I can sell that, but it’s on the border. I didn’t get the degree because I wanted a job coding, I got the degree because I enjoy coding and, in my personal opinion, I’m good at it. I dunno, I guess it’s hard to complain that pitching that is dishonest when I agree with it.

I’ve also had thoughts along the same lines with this blog. For one, I should probably fork up the money to disable ads. I don’t know what the experience is like with WordPress and ads. Are they selective enough to make it appropriate or do they lease space to anybody willing to buy and have obnoxious browser-hijacking ads? Then there’s marketing myself in a way that puts it out there. To me that feels more like talking into the void than anything else. Pitching it to family and friends feels like taking advantage of them, like maybe they’ll feel obligated and read it because of that, but I don’t want that. It’s just awkward. I don’t have a large social circle, I despise Facebook and Twitter just seems like a hi speed mess that’s impossible to follow. I’ll figure something out eventually, I guess.

Admittedly I’m not quite so angry now. I’ve been working on this slowly for a few hours and that sort of anger is very tiring. It’s not even directed at that company in particular. It’s an ongoing problem with corporate culture. That’s a big part of my problem. I don’t see any stable options that lead away from it.

Either way, rant over. This wasn’t what I intended to post today, but I think I needed to do it for my own sanity. Stay safe y’all.

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